I did meet Elizabeth while I was in Melbourne. She took me out about five times to lunch, and drove me around the city. One place we went to served lovely pancakes, and when the table was cleared, we played chess on the table top. All the squares were marked out on the table top. The game finished in a stalemate. What more could a man or woman ask for. Well they could, but it takes all all the simple fun out of the man and women thing from some of the experiences I’ve been through, and others that I have seen and heard about. I would be interested in your point of view when the times comes for me to be interrogated on that, and among other things.
We did have one very pleasant evening meal when my daughter Rachel arrived to spend a weekend with me. But I was not really up to having a real good time like I hoped I might. The treatment took a lot out of me, like it did for so many others. But we were not there for fun and games, but to be hopefully cured.
I have to admit that I was almost ready to give up before the last five days of my treatment. I just felt so lonely and fed up darting in and out of toilets, and stuck in my room almost every night watching T.V. and generally trying to amuse myself singing songs.
Missing family and friends, and socializing had become a big part of my life since I opened the door to my new life style. And that may sound trivial or crazy to those of you who have not been through some kind of similar experience, but time for me had become a very important part of my life, and I felt that I needed to fill it with something of value, and have a certain amount of fun doing it.
And, I really believe that these type of feelings are a part of being human. It is far better to express what you feel, than to hold on to it. That to my way of thinking is a soul destroyer. I believe the path I have to follow is the intensive one, rather than the extensive one.
Anyway, God is Good, and I made it through to the last day of my treatment. I thanked the staff who looked after me. Gave them a little something to chew on, and wrote a poem for them as an all over way of saying thank you.
Here is how the poem goes with the heading I put on it.
My thanks to the Epworth Center
I came to you a little scared,
A little lonely, a little lost.
But as the hours and the days
Ticked away you drew me close
To your loveliness and charms
And made me whole again.
Shall I remember you?
How could I ever forget you
That may sound a bit hypocritical, but from what I have mentioned about my feelings going through the treatment, but when I got home and settled down, the full impact of what had been done for me, cast another form of gratitude to awaken within me. God’s help is never slow in coming, It’s just that we can seldom understand why and when.
I arrived back in Auckland a day later to be greeted into the arms of my family and friends, very happy to be home again. I had to let myself settle down for a week or so, then I was back into my circle of living once again.
I will keep this chapter short because of the next one.
So those of you who are still with me, or about to join me, I hope