I should have finished off the last chapter with the cops coming to to sort the run in with the pool table guys. But as the night was getting on and the fight had caused an air of gloom over the pub, we decided to leave. Mind you I was quite tired myself from writing chapter 9, so that’s how it worked out for me, and it’s my story and I will write it as I please.
That night as I lay in bed, I got the feeling all was not going to plan. John and his wife would start to watch T.V. from about 5.30pm. I can’t remember what they watched, but it was some kind of a soap opera which I had no time for, so I would go to my room and play my portable stereo. As the days went by I was getting restless. No tennis, golf or swimming. And I was also finding it difficult to converse with John’s wife. I guess to be fair, that old saying fits in here. Two’s company, three’s a crowd.
Yes, I am there before you, once more I had jumped the gun. The word adventure in this particular situation had not been a wise move. But, then again wisdom is not so much about how you screw up, or become a genius, it’s more about never giving up on yourself no matter how capable or incapable you are at what you believe in. Christ’s disciples were very familiar on that score.
But I knew without any doubt, that The Lord once again had come to my rescue. I believe He has a lot of patience with people like myself who haven’t been able to fit more sensible pieces of the jigsaw puzzle where they make more sense. To my way of thinking, life is one big jigsaw puzzle, and not too many of us are able to complete our patterns as we would like too. But, Christ I believe is right behind those of us who are willing to take a chance, and from my point of view, to hell with the consequences. And I don’t believe that I would still be here today, and done what I’ve done, had I not adopted that attitude.
As I was having problems with my right knee more than my left, and my bank balance was threading its way down the scale, I knew I had to make a decision quickly. So the next day when I was out walking with John, that decision became more obvious. We were coming home after consuming a few beers and a pie, when all of a sudden my right knee locked up at the joint, and I had to limp home keeping my leg as straight as I could to keep the pain at a low level. Later that evening, after resting in my room, I was called out for dinner. So I lay down my cards in the best possible manner that I could, that I would have to go back to New Zealand. It had become necessary for me to have something done with my knee. Had I a car, and was on the Australian pension I would have stuck to my guns. But at the moment I was between the devil and the deep blue see.
They were very upset because I was helping them to pay the rent. Well faith was still on my side. Why I dare not venture into? Anyway I had enough money for a cheap flight back to New Zealand. I had deposited $100 into a bank which I had to do, if I was to get back on the Australian pension. So the next day I explained my position to the bank manager, and had no trouble receiving the money off them. They were very nice about it, as you usually have to wait a day or two.
So off I went life a scalded cat to book a flight home. I can’t tell you in enough words how relieved I felt, and yet a little sorry for John and his wife. And why I said a little sorry, and not very sorry, is the fact that their relationship started with I’m sure lovely beginnings, but somehow I felt all what they wanted it to be, was slowly fading like the falling leaves in Autumn. That was to prove to be the case from a few telephone calls I got off John after I arrived home.
Anyway, next day I got a lift to the Airport and we said our goodbyes with the knowing in my heart that we would never meet again in this world. And with no disrespect to John and his wife, and to others who have touched my life in all sorts of different ways, I wrote this poem.
Who never did
Who won’t anymore
And who always will.
So don’t worry about people from your past, there’s a reason why they did not make it to your future.
As we approached the North Coast of New Zealand, I felt a great sense of relief come over me. Once again with God’s help I had turned a negative situation into a positive one. I have often thought to myself, maybe that’s what this trip is all about for so many of us. It seems that we get led into one situation to determine the next one. A constant exchange of experiences that will eventually help us in some way, to understand who we really are, or maybe away from who we really are. As I have expressed before, life is all about constant change, and so many of us can so easily get caught up in the negative or positive trials that lie before us. I found something to my way of thinking that supports this, and I love it. It’s from a Holy Book called, “The Kabala".
“Man must see that nothing really is, but that everything is always becoming and changing. Nothing stands still. Everything is born, growing and dying. The very instant a thing reaches its height, it begins to decline. The very law of rhythm is in constant operation. There is no reality. There is no enduring quality, fixity or substance in anything. Nothing is permanent but change. Man must see all things evolving from other things and resolving him to other things, a constant action or reaction, inflow or outflow, building up or tearing down, creation or destruction, birth and growth and death. Nothing is real, and nothing endures but change.
I guess that’s why I am always looking in almost every direction to try and satisfy my thirst for life and living. Life and death I believe are your two best friends. Life tells us, wrap yourself around yourself to try and discover what you are capable of. And when you discover that great sense of wonder, you can then share it with others. Death tells us we don’t have forever, all the time we have is now. That in no uncertain terms tells me that life is one tremendous challenge. And I have learned to accept that challenge because nothing else makes any sense to me other than that. And I have been through some rough times, but nothing compared with the with the loving wonder of other fabulous people whose experiences I love to read and hear about. It is in some way because of them I find the courage to try and better myself.
Well enough for this chapter. And whatever might jump out of it for those of you who are willing to look further afield, I wish you every success.